Oct 7, 20164 min read

Blast out

Star Date 07102016

If I wish upon a star, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake…well…then I am screwed, jewed, and tattooed.

Didn’t really expect me to go out, be it by drug or death, and not have something infantileish to say, did you?

Heard from Rob S…all the way from Hawaii. Unexpected and welcomed. Heard from Ms. Kim. Had a great final meal at Monterey Bay, last night. Came home. Passed out. Awoke at 0230…because…why not. Head is shaved to a nice sheen, and baby butt smooth…not that I would know these things…cuz that would be weird. I’m a mostly grown man, for cryin’ out loud. Heard from Vinessa, Norm, Karen (of course). BTW…I fully expect to see the bacon picture as Steve’s Chanukah card. It really does make the most sense…and the bacon makes my eyes dance. Heard from Doug D…thank you. Miguelito, Ms. Lauren R. Spoke with Sandi. FaceTime with T2 (Sammers). Great text from T1 (obviously, Casey). …and Courtney…or as she is affectionately referred to as DJ Helen. Thank you to the Matt and Melissa M for trekking in to a real state…as compared to West Vagin…Virginia. And no…I did not forget Kenzie.

I love the show MASH, when I was in my younger years. The constant banter. The characters. BJ Honeycut. At the very end, he refused to say goodbye because of his interpretation as being permanent. As some may recall, the final episode was “Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen.”

So. I will say toodle-00. Final thought. Ralph Waldo Emerson sums up life exactly as how I hope to be remembered, should all go terribly awry. There is some argument as to whether he actually said it, so let’s just say he is better known for having said it:

I have dotted my T’s and crossed my eyes…and I’s. I have not enjoyed this journey but have been able to tolerate it and see an end to it because of the people in my life. I have lived, laughed, and loved. All with the company I choose to keep. I am fortunate and blessed. No one has taken my burden yet all have offered to walk alongside. To shoulder. I have connected. I do not know if there are falls ahead or if it is just tree lined banks that I cannot see around to a clearing that allows my river to continue on. I am hopeful. I have experienced anger, negativity, deep sadness, happiness, hope, and most of all…love. If this is truly goodbye, I am good with where my river ends. I accept it. …doesn’t mean I won’t fight it. No regrets. My sadness is at the immense loss I feel for time. 7 October is a huge day that is either the end or beginning of my life…again. I love all my kids…mine own, my Renfros, my Zempels, my Shaaks, my Cooks…there are others, but in this moment, I cannot think clearly. I am sorry. The parents that have become friends and family. More good times to come. I love you all.

I Do not forget that I have a Christmas party to attend…I was told I could get fired if I don’t show up. Whitey is always keepin me down. Until then, Safetysuit sang it best in Never Stop (wedding version):

This is my love song to you Let every woman know I’m yours So you can fall asleep each night, babe And know I’m dreaming of you more

You’re always hoping that we make it You always want to keep my gaze Well you’re the only one I see And that’s the one thing that won’t change

I’ll never stop trying I’ll never stop watching as you leave I’ll never stop losing my breath Every time I see you looking back at me I’ll never stop holding your hand I’ll never stop opening your door I’ll never stop choosing you babe I’ll never get used to you

And with this love song to you It’s not a momentary phase You are my life, I don’t deserve you But you love me just the same And as the mirror says we’re older I want to look the other way You are my life, my love, my only And that’s the one thing that won’t change

You still get my heart racing You still get my heart racing You still get my heart racing You still get my heart racing For you

Blast out

Star Date 07102016

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